This wonderful swaddle blanket made our Lainey sleep like a little angel last night. Big thanks to Christina for hooking me up with a few! I determined a couple of nights ago that Lainey gets cold at night. This wasn't too surprising...she has hated being cold pretty much her whole little life. We've always been swaddling her in a blanket at night but she was kicking out of them, even when we switched to bigger blankets. The other night, she woke me up at 5:30 just to have me re-swaddle her and she instantly went back to sleep. So I decided this swaddle blanket might just do the trick and my neighbor Christina said she had some that her Jackson wouldn't use anymore. Man oh man...I wish I had been using these all along! I think it was a combination of the swaddle blanket and us turning on the heat last night, but Lainey essentially slept through the night*. I even had to wake her up at 7:30 this morning! Wow!! Fingers crossed that she continues to do so well since I start back to work tomorrow...
Yes...the dreaded time is here. I got up this morning and did a dry run of getting dressed and going to daycare. I needed to go anyway to drop off her supplies and the check. We stayed for about an hour and I feel really good about things there and I know Lainey will be fine. I'm definitely more worried about me in this equation. Mommy is not doing so well. I came home and basically cried my eyes out from about 10-2 today. Even while I was doing it I was upset that I was wasting precious time in my last day with her but every time I looked at her about thought about the fact that I would no longer get these wonderful hours spent with her each and every day, I just couldn't help but well up. I've never been away from her for more than about an hour and that has only happened about 3 times. I knew I would be upset but I just didn't expect it to be this tough.
I hate to admit it but there was a time when I even wondered if this whole baby thing was such a good idea. The first month she was here was kind of tough. I mean, I loved her and all but I wasn't constantly flooded with overwhelming emotions like I thought I was supposed to be. Dealing with a newborn who does little more than cry and scream at you and chew your nipple into a bloody pulp just wasn't quite what I had expected with motherhood. But as time (and her period of major gasiness) have passed, I have fallen deeply in love with my little baby. I mean, how could you not love this face??
She has the best gummy smiles and has been working on squeals of laughter. And those giant cheeks go perfectly with her big blue eyes. She's just so cute! Plus she really is a sweet and good baby. We are really lucky, I know. I hate to not get to be with her all the time, especially now as her personality develops more and more each day, but I know it will be the best for our family. Obviously, I'm doing it because we need me to work financially but I think it will be good to have some balance of being outside of the house some too. I'm not exactly a domestic goddess and I'd be lying if I said I could be happy cooking and cleaning all the time (although I have begun a new love affair with Food Network on my maternity leave. Maybe one day I will even try out some of those new recipes I'm forever jotting down!).
So...wish me luck tomorrow! And if you see me, please don't ask me how it was unless you are armed with Kleenex.
*Because she slept for so long, I had to get up at 3:30 to pump and I woke her up. But even then it was just enough that she wanted to eat and go right back to sleep without any fuss whatsoever!
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